Love Language

So there I found myself, a thirty-year-old heterosexual male, standing in the middle of the aisle, trying to decide on a reasonable purchase. I struggle to explain my method of choosing, and I felt pressured by embarrassment as I stood along side three women who were chattering about their purchase possibilities. I gave a sigh as my indecision turned into frustration. I was uncomfortably aware of my own lingering presence.

My nervousness might make one consider my location to be in a ladies undergarment shop in the mall, but no. It is simply the scrap-booking section at the local craft store.

Perhaps I need to deal with some insecurities.

Nevertheless, the reason I endure such “hardship” is not to satisfy any of my own guilty pleasures, but rather to demonstrate to my wife that I love her.

When I first got married to my wife Stephanie, we read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In this book Chapman discusses the various means by which we relay love. Not only does he define these different modes of communication, but shows how we each tend to favor one above the others.

While Stephanie and I were dating and whenever Valentine’s Day or an anniversary would roll around, I would carefully craft a note proclaiming my undying love to her. She would then gift me with a cute stuffed animal or a picture with a Hershey Kiss frame she made herself. Although we could appreciate the other's gesture, they fell miserably short of conveying our true emotions.

After reading The Five Love Languages, we learned that our romantic wires were crossed. We were speaking a foreign language to our spouse, selfishly anticipating our actions to be reciprocated. Instead, we needed to learn the language of the other, and thus express how we felt in a more effective, although less natural, way. Now I can delightedly fill her Christmas stocking with craft supplies and her anniversary cards with gift cards, because that is what truly articulates to her my love. Likewise, she can save her money for most occasions and manifest her love to me with a sincere note that strokes my ego.

I believe God is the same way (not the ego part). He desires to be loved and worshiped, but in the way he reveals to us in Scripture. Not to say that God does not appreciate our innocent fumbling in the infant stages, but mature Christians should know better.

"Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you," says the LORD Almighty, "and I will accept no offering from your hands.”
–Malachi 1:10

I conclude that if we really want to worship our Father in Heaven, we will read The Good Book. To worship however we so desire while neglecting its instructions, does not reveal a sincere heart set free from constraints, but a selfish heart set on idolatry. In such a case, God would rather us not worship at all.