Journey of Despair

 

“[Elijah] went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He went and sat down under a shrub and asked the Lord to take his life: “I’ve had enough! Now, O Lord, take my life. After all, I’m no better than my ancestors.” He stretched out and fell asleep under the shrub. Suddenly an angelic messenger touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked and right there by his head was a cake baking on hot coals and a jug of water. He ate and drank and then slept some more. The angel of the Lord came back again, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat, for otherwise you won’t be able to make the journey. So he got up and ate and drank. That meal gave him the strength to travel 40 days and 40 nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.” –1 Kings 19:4-8, NET

Considering God’s later question—“why are you here?” (vv.9,13)—and His eventual command—“go back the way you came” (v.15)—it is apparent that not only is this prophet’s pitiful collapse into the fetal position not of God, but his forty day trek to Mount Horeb was not commanded by God either. Yet not only does the LORD allow Elijah the miserable and solitary excursion, but Elijah is strengthened to do so.

I was astounded by this. Elijah falsely believes he has failed (v.4), and that he alone is God’s faithful servant (vv.10,14). Yet, God does not immediately correct him, but rather enables him to journey for a season in self-deception. For only after Elijah has exhausted himself and become utterly famished is he ready to hear from the LORD—not in dramatic ways (strong wind, earthquake, fire), but in a whisper (v.12). Only then is Elijah ready to continue kingdom work (vv.15-17) and receive the truth of reality—He is certainly not alone (v.18).

Perhaps this speaks into the obstinance of self-delusion, and can give us insight into our own gloom, as well as compassion and patience for others who find themselves in a bog of depression. Let us see that God is always at work, perhaps increasing solitary distress until we despair of all others but Him.

“God is waiting for your store of strength to be utterly exhausted before he can deliver you. Once you have ceased to struggle, he will do everything. God is waiting for you to despair,” (Watchman Nee). 

With others, may we prove NOT to be “miserable comforters,” bludgeoning our brothers with bats of facts (ex: Job 16:2). Rather, may we extend kindness to the one in despair (Job 6:14), imitating and demonstrating the lavish kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience of God.

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” –Colossians 3:12-13, ESV

Let us remember that a hard heart has closed ears (Mat 13:15), and any one of us can harden ourselves when we buy the lie that we must self-protect. So let us also remember that it was the kindness of God that lead us to repentance (Rom 2:4), and extend to others this kindness with the expectation that God is at work in their despair.