Stumbling Block

“So in the morning the older daughter said to the younger, ‘Since I went to bed with my father last night, let’s make him drunk again tonight. Then you go in and go to bed with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.’ So they made their father drunk that night as well, and the younger one came and went to bed with him. But he was not aware of when she lay down with him or when she got up.” –Genesis 19:34-35, ESV

Lot might have thought he succeeded in raising his daughters to be pure. They had after all saved themselves for marriage (v.8) (or at least Lot believed they had; and did this culture still value such a thing?). But it is now evident that Lot was an utter failure. Their understanding of sexuality was severely warped by the “way” of the “earth” (v.31).

What if we were under a similar delusion? The sexual promiscuity and high rate of divorce within our congregations, the grip of pornography on even our pulpits, and the miserable state of many marriages, are all testimonies to the failure of our pious pretenses. If we are like Lot, not seeking things above (Col 3:1) but having our minds warped by the flesh (Rom 8:5-8), then our focus will be on earthly interest: “Getting pregnant outside of wedlock could ruin your college dreams”; “Promiscuity could lead to deadly diseases, so be safe”; “Abstinence makes you pure for your wedding day.” See how self-interest is the priority, while sacrifice and suffering for God’s kingdom are not even factors in our thinking. Thus, we become stumbling blocks to others (like Lot was to his daughters).

“From that time on Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and experts in the law, and be killed and on the third day be raised. So Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him: “God forbid, Lord! This must not happen to you!” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me because you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but on man’s.” –Matthew 16:21-23, NET

We are commanded to keep God’s kingdom our ultimate concern (Mat 6:10,33). The Resurrection changes everything (1Co 15:50-58), and we are called to live under this all-consuming paradigm (Luke 14:26-27,33). Marriage and sex included. For this beautiful gift, created by God, is a sacrificial service to our spouse (1Co 7:3-4), a beautiful aspect of gospel-glorifying union (Eph 5:31-33) that God has ordained for the flourishing of humanity (Gen 1:27-28). Sex can only happen self-LESS-ly within the confines of marriage, because long-suffering is a prerequisite for this sanctification process (Col 3:12-19; Eph 5:22-29; 1Pe 3:1-7), and this necessitates a commitment (Mat 19:4-6).

In contrast, all sexual contact outside marriage is self-serving. It does NOT consider the interest of the other (Phi 2:3-4), but uses the other’s body to gratify his own lust (Rom 13:13-14). Sex is a practical means to a selfish end. How many marriages are maintained by mutual manipulation?

For even within marriage, sex can often be sinful. If our pursuit of our spouse is self-serving and not out of love, it becomes eternally worthless (1Co 13:1-7). This is the staggering commitment Jesus calls us to, making disciples declare, “No one should get married then,” (Mat 19:10). It is indeed an impossible weight for a man to carry—without faith in Christ (Phi 4:13). For the ONLY way to abstain from sinful and selfish flesh is to live by the Spirit (Gal 5:16).

So let this lofty paradigm be what we teach our youth (and proclaim to ourselves). We need to demonstrate that there is no standard of law that can keep us pure. Abstinence does not “save” us. Jesus does. It is only living by faith that we can please God (Heb 11:6), and whatever is not of faith is sin (Rom 14:23). For God’s will for us is not simply to keep away from sexual immorality, but to “become holy” (1Th 4:3)—to be “perfect as God is perfect” (Mat 5:48). And that is a miraculous work that only He can do (Eze 36:26). This level of righteousness can only be revealed by the power of the gospel that moves us to “live by faith” (Rom 1:16-17), willingly suffering in the flesh, “concerned only about the will of God and not human desires” (1Pe 4:1-6).

May we see the gospel's imperative and our need to saturate every area of our lives in this truth, not merely for our benefit, but out of love for others. Let us strive to not be a stumbling block.